Seeking: Missed Call

I’m 47, so it’s “mid-life crisis” time…and like most people my age, I’m doing a lot of reflecting on the past thirty years of my life.  Like you, I look back fondly at some choices I’ve made…and want to jump into a volcano when I remember others.

One event that happened to me at age 16 haunts me to this day.  I’m a cradle Catholic, but when my parents divorced when I was 8 years old, they had an unfortunate conversation with a priest who refused to grant them an annulment.  That was the end of their Catholic lives, and if not for my maternal grandmother, it would have been the end of mine as well.  Grandma whisked me to Mass when no one was looking…more to give me strength and peace rather than to “save my soul.”  She was spiritual and practical, and her actions helped to give me faith and hope.

The big event was preceded by three years of discerning whether to enter religious life.  Not a soul on earth knew I was praying about and considering this, but I took it very seriously, and kept wondering what God was possibly calling me to do.

Finally, one day, I said, “Lord, I don’t usually go this route, but I need a very direct, clear sign from you soon – are you inspiring me to enter religious life, or do I just have more issues than Readers' Digest?”  Doubting, I hopped into my pajamas and went to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up, and opened the front door to get the morning paper (something we had in the old days.)  No newspaper… just a paperback book.  Puzzled, I picked it up.  It was a book about religious life.  I opened the front cover, and there was an address label from a sister in the Midwest.  I nearly dropped the book.  I had no idea where it came from, and never found out.

And I was so frightened that I dropped the whole thing.

Missed Call?   Strange coincidence? 

I have faith that “God writes straight with crooked lines.”  I believe that, if we remain close to God in prayer, God will guide and direct our days, even if we try to take a shortcut and wind up on the wrong road.  God will always bring us around.  However, I can’t shake the possibility that God was still speaking…and I hung up on Him.

My mantra ever since is “listen.”  Shut up, and listen ~- and listen more.  You can’t have a conversation with your Father if you do all the talking.  You might miss something quite important.